How could I access this awareness and practice it or whatever one does because I was only learning? I was just learning to have some framework for all this. In the early days, it was primarily a visual meditation where exercise is done with this awareness.
It is said that one cannot understand what one does not have a language for. In other words, with a language can come a type of understanding that cannot be grasped. Then I thought that maybe I need language.
When I was 18, I began my study of Buddhism and a variety of other fields such as witchcraft and tarot. I was hanging out at a new-age church and learning tarot using Aleister Crowley’s deck and generally experiencing a free-form life.
I lived in a couple of communes where I learned that people are people and have tensions with each other even though they may have higher ideals. All the time I was wondering how we all might transcend negativity. I met people who seemed to be impervious to negativity around them. I wondered how they did that, and I also met people who were disciplined about almost everything.
So I hung out with a Sikh teacher who had been royalty in India and renounced his title to live in the Himalayas and learn from the masters there, Hirindra Singh. And I also encountered a gentleman I know only as Ramananda. With him, I experienced an interesting shift in perspective. As we were meditating I had an urge to go out the door and proclaim that I had seen the truth. I then remembered that many have tried the same thing. But I didn’t have a language that would allow me to fully experience this new awareness, much less teach it.
I wish I could say that I was instantly awakened and knew how to spread the word, but it hasn’t been that way with me. Clarity has come and also the challenge of finding a way to put it to use. I always say, what’s the use of learning something if it doesn’t help?
So, I went after a language, or rather I’ve been accumulating languages. The Tibetans have developed the most intricate language for describing the subtleties of different meditative states of consciousness, while NLP has been a wonderful teacher of more common emotional and mental states.
Spiral Dynamics and books like the Red Queen help explain society and give us strength to recognize the nature and layers of belief we each hold most true.
That’s my place now. Something was going on, and still is. Just not many people are alert to it and the changes it can lead to, partially because they don’t have a language for it, partially because they are afraid of what they didn’t learn in school. Still too many are just sitting around waiting for the world to change for them.
Finally, I have a way to explain what I’ve been experiencing, what we all experience.
Come to
